Today I invited joy back in.
After yesterday's mix of emotions, with questions still weighing heavily, I decided that getting away from my daily routine (and out of my own head) would be good for me.
I met up with some dear friends for a stroll through the farmer's market and a little lunch. There was soul food, color and cheerfulness everywhere I looked. I went camera phone snap happy as usual. The girls and I brainstormed a few creative gatherings for our Meet-up group and even began visualizing what my 365 Days of Creative celebration could look like this June. I'm feeling better about taking on the planning of that event, and it felt so good to have my friends' support.
Later in the day, on my way to tutoring, I saw this sign at the front of my old school. I have walked by this message board at least six times this month (yes I counted) and today I finally noticed what it said. How very appropriate for my April and my whole creative life. I like to think it was a little sign from the Universe reminding me to carry on with courage despite setbacks, like the one I talked myself into yesterday.
Everything on my path today was significant. A day of noticing and allowing was what I needed to make these conclusions: For me, joy and creativity are turning out to be one in the same. They are both an expression of my most authentic self. There is a place for them in my life, regardless of the turmoil that exists around me. I need not feel selfish for devoting energy to making myself happy. It's O.K. for me to live my truth. While I will still strive to find a broader purpose behind my creative calling, it's important for me to live it for myself as well.