Today I made:
I've started a new job this week! It's a position that allows me to do what I love without the full-time commitment of having my own classroom. For the next six weeks, I will be working at a local elementary school as a literacy and math intervention teacher. I will support small groups of students in kindergarten through fifth grade. It is very much like what I'm already doing through my tutoring and thankfully allows me to keep my current students.
So today I spent some time creating lesson plans for my little readers, writers and mathematicians. There is always an excitement in this for me. There is so much room for creativity here. Curriculum design and teaching are the crafts that I studied long before I chose to delve into the expressive arts. There is comfort here for me in knowing that I can do good for my students.
There is also an old fear, however, that I will not do good for myself. I haven't shared much here yet about my "past life" as a full-time teacher. Let it suffice to say, for now, that I was a shell of the creative artist I am now, when I devoted all my time to classroom life and my chosen profession. I can' t help but worry that this job will consume much of my time and energy, and keep me from my own creative pursuits. But it's a temporary position, I keep telling myself. It's perfect experience for my independent tutoring endeavors, and a nice break from the stress of day-to-day substitute teaching.
My husband gave me a hearty lecture the other night about saying no to opportunities that don't support my ultimate goals and dreams of being an artist. He made some good points, but I can't help being hopeful that this job (that I was offered unexpectedly and accepted on a whim) is a much needed test of my creative commitment to myself, and the perfect compliment to my growth as a tutor and mentor. I'm trying to stay confident and think happy thoughts that I can juggle it all. I hope that awareness will make all the difference.