245/365: Sweetheart

Today I made:
a color pop...

A fun camera app called "ColorSplash" brought out the love in this sweet berry.

Happy hearts day!

244/365: Progress

Today I made:

a little progress...

I had a few spare moments tonight to work on this week's project. I mixed and matched some elements, pulling together the pieces to decorate this special music box.

I often need to remind myself that even just a few minutes of creative play, like drafting design options for a project, fulfills my goal of creating every day. It doesn't have to be big to be meaningful.

243/365: Art and Resistance

Today I made:

time for journal therapy...

All day I've been planning on spending the evening in my art space finishing up a project for a friend's birthday. There was nothing else that really needed to get done. You'd think I'd entered a crazy time warp as soon as I stepped foot through my door after work today. This is how I've managed to spend my last few hours:

I enjoyed dinner (without multitasking anything else between bites), took a shower, called my mama, played with my pup, picked out my outfit for my first day at my new job, caught up on emails, looked over tomorrow's schedule, put away laundry...and all of a sudden I'm scrolling through eye candy on Pinterest. How did that happen?!

What started out as giving myself permission to take time out for self-care after a ten hour day of teaching turned into blatant procrastination of something I truly enjoy. Why am I so resistant some days to heading into my art space and just diving into some creative act that I know will bring me pleasure?! Is it a lack of knowing where to go with my latest project, or the fact that I've assigned myself a time frame to finish it? Is it sheer mental exhaustion (and a whole lot of phlegm from my cold)? I feel as if just when I get comfortable with some part of the process, some other challenge presents itself, pushing me back to where I started. I feel discouraged and overwhelmed. 

I know I expect a lot of myself. I often pull 10-12 hour days between teaching, tutoring and running errands, but somehow I've talked myself into believing that this is not enough. I seem to think that when I get home I should still be a productive little artist and homemaker. I realize that is just not always realistic, but I continue to expect it of myself and am hard on myself when it doesn't happen...to the point that I end up needing one of these journaling therapy sessions to recover from the attack of my inner critic.

I know there must be ways to remedy these things, both the inner critic and my occasional strange resistance to art making, but at the moment I'm finding it hard to budge from this stuck place.

Perhaps someday in the future, this blog will be a place for people to find project ideas, tutorials galore, and techniques for working through blocks, but for now I can simply offer you a way to nurture your creativity by sharing my experience on the path. After 243 days of my daily creative project, I still need to remind myself that so much of this is about me documenting my process- my successes and failures, my happy discoveries and fumbles. I guess I feel like I'm fumbling a lot these days...but I know it's all valid and it all belongs here in my little world of finding myself as an artist.

For now I can only provide these encouraging words, for you and for myself:
Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh opportunity to release the creativity that we carry inside us. Two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward on our path. 

Carry on.

242/365: His Hands Helped

Today I made:
a rough sketch...

My husband came through on his part of the project today. That sweet man inspires me! Now the much more technical stuff is finished and my "canvas" is ready for play. If only I could bring myself to move from the couch. I had good intentions of beginning the painting phase of my mystery project today, but still feeling sick and completely exhausted after a long day of work and running errands. I managed a little time with my sketchbook, planning out the elements of the project. Hoping to get an earlier start on tomorrow's creative, but not going to beat myself up for tonight's slow progress. Thanks to my husband, the piece is off to a good start.

241/365: The Master and the Apprentice

Today we made:

a circuit board...

I have a project up my sleeve. My husband and I are collaborating on this one. Tonight he helped me solder the components for a circuit board that will become the heart of a fancy little amplifier/music box. I was determined to help with the electronics part of the project even though I'm itching to move on to the part I like best- the mixed media crafty end of things. This is a big learning curve for me, but it helps to study with a patient teacher. I'm excited to share the finished piece!

240/365: Stillness

Today I made:

a tough decision
(and some earrings)...

It's official. This bug got the best of me. It's a day for pajamas and quiet contemplation.

After brimming with excitement all week about a Meet-up I was supposed to attend this afternoon, I had to make the decision to stay home to rest. I so badly wanted to connect with these like-minded people for a cause that speaks to my heart. It's been a difficult lesson to learn, to listen to my body, to say no when I want to say yes, but I know I need to take care of myself. I know I need to take it easy. And I'm so grateful for the reminder I received from the organizer of the event...Divine timing will bring another opportunity.

Moving around takes the wind out of me and talking hurts my throat, so I'm choosing to sit still and quiet. Thankfully, the mind cloud lifted just enough to do a little design work on a pair of earrings I'm making for a friend, and my hands still want to make. Not bad, I guess, for a sick day. Now I need a nap.

I think tonight's date is a lost cause. Maybe I can wear my little black dress under my fuzzy winter robe, while my husband makes me tea and rubs my temples.

239/365: Playing Dress Up

Today I made:
plans for the little black dress...

I sit here on my couch between accidental naps, listening to the storm and practicing self care. I really should just send myself to bed. Some strain of whatever has been going around is creeping up on me and I need rest. The energy just isn't here, no matter how much I will it.

I was contemplating small projects I could take on in my fuzzy state. All of them seem forced tonight. Luckily, I remembered a small creative act that fulfills my quota for the day.

Tomorrow, husband and I are going out on the town for an early Valentine's date. He added a little black dress to my wardrobe recently and I promised I would wear it on our evening out. Earlier today I styled my outfit: just the right heels, hose, belt, handbag and jewels. I even picked out new lipstick and eyeshadow. This is a far cry from my usual ponytail, sweater and paint under my fingernails. As my fashionable friend Casey once said, playing dress up is creative.

I'm hoping the torrential downpours stop by tomorrow night, and that I have a voice and two functioning nostrils. It's time to take that little black dress for a spin.