Today I made:
friends with my yoga mat...
I am a yoga class drop out. Some time this past summer I got a great Groupon deal for twenty sessions of yoga at a studio bike-riding distance from my house. I was thrilled at the thought of taking my inconsistent living room yoga practice into a real studio, getting some guidance and making it a regular habit.
I have since attended one session. One!!
That's just embarrassing. It's not even a fair go, I realize. "Beginner's" yoga beat my butt and then I made excuse after excuse. My Groupon expires in a month and I'm trying to figure out how to convince my busy mind to buy into what my spirit knows is good for me. Words of wisdom and experience are welcome.
From the little I've done at home over the past few years, I've gotten a glimpse of yoga as a spiritual practice and tool for observation. I often find myself holding my breath and clenching my jaw through the poses. It's ridiculous how much my mind wanders even when I try to focus on my breathing. I know it's called a "practice" for a reason. It's not going to be peaceful and easy at first. It takes time and commitment to integrate into one's lifestyle. The thing is, I know it would help me immensely with managing stress, relieving tension, being more present and quieting my mind to allow more positive things to come through, if I practiced regularly. I fully believe in all the benefits, but I haven't found a way to make it a priority in my life.
This evening, after sending my husband off to his man cave, I put in the Beginner's Vinyasa Flow DVD and unrolled my mat. Banjo always sees this as an invitation to play, so he promptly retrieved his chew toy. (It's hard to breathe through downward facing dog pose while receiving doggy kisses.) Letting my mind do it's thing, I found myself thinking about what a friend said to me about making yoga my own practice. I thought about my favorite poses: child's pose, hero's pose and shavasana, the final pose. These are my happy resting poses and they don't require much effort beyond lying still. They are the easiest for me to breathe through and quiet my mind during. (I suspect the lack of both grunting and required use of muscle may have something to do with it.) Then on an inhale, during one of my less favorite poses, I had an epiphany. If I want to find a way to make yoga work for me as my own practice, so I can integrate it into my daily life, maybe I simply need to commit to doing my three favorite poses each day! You can bet I will look forward to yoga while sitting in traffic on my way home from work. Maybe it will even get me out of bed a few minutes early each morning. I'm hoping it will lead to a more consistent practice, and yes, an appreciation of other poses. For now though, I will rest in child's pose, observe the workings of my monkey mind and learn to breathe like my life depends on it.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
159/365: Know Joy
Today I made:
a joy list...
Yesterday's journal therapy about Refilling Your Tank did me some good. I decided to take it a step further by making a list of things I love to do, things that bring me joy that I can draw from to refill my tank when my source is getting depleted. The idea is to replenish our energy, to recharge and renew by allowing ourselves time for self-care and engaging in activities that make us smile on the inside. We owe it to ourselves and to the people we care about to recognize when our tank is low and to refill it so we can be more present for all the demands of life. Even ten minutes a day of a uniquely-yours-joy-filled experience can bring you back to a better place. These are the little things that bring big fulfillment.
My list turned into an art journal spread in an altered book that I'm making to document my creative process and journey. The photo is a recent one from my trip to Zion- a joyful roll in the leaves. The bits of text that spoke to me from the page found me, as they always do, when I go in search of answers through art.
I believe that we have the power to create our happy lives by choosing to make time for the things we enjoy. In the midst of all the chaos, we can know joy.
What is on your Joy List?
Found text: "Remember, you are creating. Plan to live and enjoy. Knowing takes time. All this is part of making a happy life. Know joy."
a joy list...
Yesterday's journal therapy about Refilling Your Tank did me some good. I decided to take it a step further by making a list of things I love to do, things that bring me joy that I can draw from to refill my tank when my source is getting depleted. The idea is to replenish our energy, to recharge and renew by allowing ourselves time for self-care and engaging in activities that make us smile on the inside. We owe it to ourselves and to the people we care about to recognize when our tank is low and to refill it so we can be more present for all the demands of life. Even ten minutes a day of a uniquely-yours-joy-filled experience can bring you back to a better place. These are the little things that bring big fulfillment.
My list turned into an art journal spread in an altered book that I'm making to document my creative process and journey. The photo is a recent one from my trip to Zion- a joyful roll in the leaves. The bits of text that spoke to me from the page found me, as they always do, when I go in search of answers through art.
I believe that we have the power to create our happy lives by choosing to make time for the things we enjoy. In the midst of all the chaos, we can know joy.
What is on your Joy List?
Found text: "Remember, you are creating. Plan to live and enjoy. Knowing takes time. All this is part of making a happy life. Know joy."
Monday, November 19, 2012
158/365: Refilling Your Tank
Today I made:
time to refill my tank...
I feel as if the last month of my life has gone by in a blur. Between juggling jobs, business-building endeavors, classes, visits from friends and family, travel, special events, and creative commitments, "me time" has been scarce. As rich with learning, connection and celebration as my life has been lately, I am beginning to feel the effects of an empty tank. Stress and overwhelm are manifesting in ugly ways. I feel so mentally exhausted that I lack the focus and energy for just about everything I take on. "I don't wanna!" has been my lament for days and days. I zone out during conversations with people I care about. I am short tempered with my students at school. I cut corners where I know I should be giving 100%. I lose touch with friends. Small to-dos get put off until they unnecessarily add to the overwhelm. There is so much storming around in my head that I feel unable to deal with the tiniest stressors. I am beginning to feel the scary physical symptoms of what I think must be anxiety. I feel completely over-stimulated, as if I'm constantly going and doing instead of just being. I know I am trying to give more of myself than I have to give. I have obviously over-packed my schedule and run myself ragged trying to keep up with my ambitious well-to-do efforts.
While a part of me wants to bury my head under a pillow and cry and feel sorry for myself, I have to remind myself that this is not failure and that it is part of the territory. This is normal wear and tear on the road of life and there is something we can do about it. Yes, we need to be very honest with ourselves about how much we can really take on, but since that is not always within our control, we need to focus on refilling our tanks- on a regular basis. Work, relationships, commitments...despite the joy and fulfillment we may get from these parts of our lives, the energy we invest there inevitably drains from our source until we don't have much left to give to ourselves or of ourselves.
When my tank begins to drain, I crave quiet, solitude, time to think, to write, to create, to reassess. But for some reason, I resist. Times like these when I feel spread thin with so much left to do, I have a hard time justifying taking the time to relax, unwind and refill. And that is how I manage to get myself into this stranded-feeling state, over and over again, by ignoring the warning signs.
No matter how surprising and uncomfortable our physical and emotional reactions to stress and overwhelm are, like speed bumps, they are there to remind us of something. The choice to slow down is ours to make every day. We must find a way to justify it in the haste of our daily lives. Maybe you're one of the clever ones who slows down to refill your tank before the indicator light turns on and you're running on empty. Some of us (yours truly) feel the need to keep pushing the gas pedal, long after the fuel has run dry, until we're stuck with our wheels spinning in the mud and muck. I seem to be reliving this hard lesson on a daily basis and I feel like I've been doing it for years. This must be one of my lessons in life. My need to share it with others is really just a big fat note to self/ tie a ribbon 'round your finger/ for goodness sakes don't forget again!!!
Thankfully, I am finally beginning to see that the things I do to refill my tank are not selfish acts of luxury, but nurturing acts of necessity. We cannot be our best and give our best if we are not our best to ourselves. Whether refilling our cup means listening to and caring for your body, relaxing the mind with journaling or a good book, reconnecting with nature or decompressing through conversation with a close friend, we can choose these simple acts of refilling every day. We can't afford not to.
So this afternoon, after bidding the relatives farewell and beginning my Thanksgiving break from school, I slowed down and checked my gage. There is much to do, as always, but instead of plowing ahead, I chose to refill my tank with a photo walk and some journal therapy. After so much depletion it may take a while to fill my tank, but I'm paying better attention to the indicator light.
time to refill my tank...
I feel as if the last month of my life has gone by in a blur. Between juggling jobs, business-building endeavors, classes, visits from friends and family, travel, special events, and creative commitments, "me time" has been scarce. As rich with learning, connection and celebration as my life has been lately, I am beginning to feel the effects of an empty tank. Stress and overwhelm are manifesting in ugly ways. I feel so mentally exhausted that I lack the focus and energy for just about everything I take on. "I don't wanna!" has been my lament for days and days. I zone out during conversations with people I care about. I am short tempered with my students at school. I cut corners where I know I should be giving 100%. I lose touch with friends. Small to-dos get put off until they unnecessarily add to the overwhelm. There is so much storming around in my head that I feel unable to deal with the tiniest stressors. I am beginning to feel the scary physical symptoms of what I think must be anxiety. I feel completely over-stimulated, as if I'm constantly going and doing instead of just being. I know I am trying to give more of myself than I have to give. I have obviously over-packed my schedule and run myself ragged trying to keep up with my ambitious well-to-do efforts.While a part of me wants to bury my head under a pillow and cry and feel sorry for myself, I have to remind myself that this is not failure and that it is part of the territory. This is normal wear and tear on the road of life and there is something we can do about it. Yes, we need to be very honest with ourselves about how much we can really take on, but since that is not always within our control, we need to focus on refilling our tanks- on a regular basis. Work, relationships, commitments...despite the joy and fulfillment we may get from these parts of our lives, the energy we invest there inevitably drains from our source until we don't have much left to give to ourselves or of ourselves.
When my tank begins to drain, I crave quiet, solitude, time to think, to write, to create, to reassess. But for some reason, I resist. Times like these when I feel spread thin with so much left to do, I have a hard time justifying taking the time to relax, unwind and refill. And that is how I manage to get myself into this stranded-feeling state, over and over again, by ignoring the warning signs.
No matter how surprising and uncomfortable our physical and emotional reactions to stress and overwhelm are, like speed bumps, they are there to remind us of something. The choice to slow down is ours to make every day. We must find a way to justify it in the haste of our daily lives. Maybe you're one of the clever ones who slows down to refill your tank before the indicator light turns on and you're running on empty. Some of us (yours truly) feel the need to keep pushing the gas pedal, long after the fuel has run dry, until we're stuck with our wheels spinning in the mud and muck. I seem to be reliving this hard lesson on a daily basis and I feel like I've been doing it for years. This must be one of my lessons in life. My need to share it with others is really just a big fat note to self/ tie a ribbon 'round your finger/ for goodness sakes don't forget again!!!
Thankfully, I am finally beginning to see that the things I do to refill my tank are not selfish acts of luxury, but nurturing acts of necessity. We cannot be our best and give our best if we are not our best to ourselves. Whether refilling our cup means listening to and caring for your body, relaxing the mind with journaling or a good book, reconnecting with nature or decompressing through conversation with a close friend, we can choose these simple acts of refilling every day. We can't afford not to.
So this afternoon, after bidding the relatives farewell and beginning my Thanksgiving break from school, I slowed down and checked my gage. There is much to do, as always, but instead of plowing ahead, I chose to refill my tank with a photo walk and some journal therapy. After so much depletion it may take a while to fill my tank, but I'm paying better attention to the indicator light.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
157/365: Merry Merry
Today I made:
Handmade Holiday art...
I got to slow down a bit today and ease into the holiday season with another En{COURAGE} Creative Meet-up. Some of the lovely ladies chose to create mixed media ornaments or gift boxes while others chose to express themselves on canvas.
I stepped back from the teacher role this time and was delighted to hear the group members encouraging and guiding each other through the projects. I am loving the supportive creative community that is growing from this group. It is so much bigger than the projects we work on.
Handmade Holiday art...
 |
| fabric decoupage ornament |
I got to slow down a bit today and ease into the holiday season with another En{COURAGE} Creative Meet-up. Some of the lovely ladies chose to create mixed media ornaments or gift boxes while others chose to express themselves on canvas.
I stepped back from the teacher role this time and was delighted to hear the group members encouraging and guiding each other through the projects. I am loving the supportive creative community that is growing from this group. It is so much bigger than the projects we work on.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
156/365: Stitches & Christmas Stories
Today I made:
friends with the blanket stitch...
I spent the day playing tourist with my hilarious aunt and uncle who are visiting from Germany.
A quiet evening at home with my mama was just what I needed afterwards. We worked on a pattern and samples for the hand-stitched birdie ornaments for tomorrow's Handmade Holiday art meet-up. Mama taught me how to use a "blanket stitch" to finish the edges of my project. She filled the night with stories of her childhood Christmas memories and the handmade ornaments she always made with her brother and sister. I remember these Polish folk art ornaments from my childhood. Someday I will teach my kids how to make them. I love that my family history is filled with creative traditions.
friends with the blanket stitch...
I spent the day playing tourist with my hilarious aunt and uncle who are visiting from Germany.
A quiet evening at home with my mama was just what I needed afterwards. We worked on a pattern and samples for the hand-stitched birdie ornaments for tomorrow's Handmade Holiday art meet-up. Mama taught me how to use a "blanket stitch" to finish the edges of my project. She filled the night with stories of her childhood Christmas memories and the handmade ornaments she always made with her brother and sister. I remember these Polish folk art ornaments from my childhood. Someday I will teach my kids how to make them. I love that my family history is filled with creative traditions.
Friday, November 16, 2012
155/365: Shut Eye
Practicing creative ways to keep my eyes open when I am very very tired...not so successful.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
154/365: The Art of Make Believe
Today I made:
myself believe that I can...
I received another tutoring request at one of my schools today. I was out of my regular teaching business cards so I offered the mom a business card from my art Meet-up group just so she'd have my contact info. She actually said that she was really interested in getting some creative enrichment for her artistic daughter!
With art programs getting wiped out in California public schools, there is such a need for this. I've toyed around with the idea of offering creative workshops through my tutoring before, but I kept talking myself out of it, thinking I'm not "certified" to teach art to kids.
Oh, the stories we tell ourselves out of fear of failure! My passion for art, teaching, empowering and inspiring is leading me to believe that this could be a good direction for me after all. The pieces are coming together naturally just as I was told they would. The path seems almost too obvious to be true. There is magic in making ourselves believe that we can.
I received another tutoring request at one of my schools today. I was out of my regular teaching business cards so I offered the mom a business card from my art Meet-up group just so she'd have my contact info. She actually said that she was really interested in getting some creative enrichment for her artistic daughter!
With art programs getting wiped out in California public schools, there is such a need for this. I've toyed around with the idea of offering creative workshops through my tutoring before, but I kept talking myself out of it, thinking I'm not "certified" to teach art to kids.
Oh, the stories we tell ourselves out of fear of failure! My passion for art, teaching, empowering and inspiring is leading me to believe that this could be a good direction for me after all. The pieces are coming together naturally just as I was told they would. The path seems almost too obvious to be true. There is magic in making ourselves believe that we can.
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