Sunday, October 27, 2013

Surrender to the Wilderness

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition...What you'll discover there will be wonderful. What you'll discover there will be yourself." ~Alan Alda

I am taking an e-course called Making Space for Surrender by the brilliant Hannah Marcotti. It is perfect Universal timing. I'm needing some support with surrendering to the changes that are coming my way. Yes, sh*t is about to get reeeeeal, and I'm feeling more than a little resistant. I will put it all into context for my readers soon- once I know what the actual changes will look like, but for now I'd just like to share my place on the path.

As part of the soul work for the course, we have been asked to do some visioning (think flipping through a magazine to unearth the images and words that speak to you in the moment) in response to the prompt "What is the feeling behind surrender?"

I've been staring at this magazine image for days, trying to articulate why it spoke to me, and today at the end of my yoga practice, it dawned on me. Though it's not yoga attire, that is clearly the bottom half of shavasana pose...also know as final surrender. In yoga, this pose is intended to rejuvenate body, mind and spirit at the end of a practice. It allows you to integrate your yoga practice into your daily life. I had a super delicious aha moment when I realized that my visioning and journaling around this image are allowing me to take a pose of surrender in my mind! I am done fighting against the inevitable. I am ready to integrate surrender into my life.

That image and that quote are what surrender feels like for me. Release. Letting go. Leaving the city of my comfort and trudging deep into the wilderness of my unexplored intuition. It feels like I've been hiking for too long in not-so-sensible shoes, and I've finally given up the struggle and lay down in the undergrowth. I decide to rest and allow the wild unknown to consume me. I surrender to the flow instead of fighting it.

What I know for sure (cause I'm learning it in a big way through life experience right now) is that we have to leave our comfort zone to surrender. Often, that "comfort zone" is actually a space of resistance that we fall into when presented with challenges. It is a place of familiarity and safety. But it's also completely in conflict with the flow.

Do you find yourself clinging to what feels safe and familiar? Do you catch yourself resisting change? Struggling with it? Turning it into a negative circumstance? I can answer yes to all of these questions, especially lately. Now I'd like to ask myself just one more question:

What amount of change that is out of my control, what mysteries and unanswered questions, what uncertainties must I face before I will trust that my intuition will guide me in a good orderly direction?

That is what I'll be pondering as I take off my shoes and allow myself to lay back into the wilderness,
in complete and total surrender- at least for a few deep breaths at a time.

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